snow.

He gives snow like wool;
He scatters the frost like ashes.
He casts forth His ice as fragments;
Who can stand before His cold?
Psalm 147:16-17 (NASB)

When I went to bed last night, I knew that I lived in Fort Worth, TX. When I woke up this morning and it was snowing (again), I started to second guess. Growing up in Mississippi, it was just understood that when the weatherman said, "It's going to snow on Tuesday," what he really meant was, "It's going to ice on Tuesday," or "You're going to wait around in anticipation all day, but the snow will never come." Turns out, I have not lost this attitude. I have heard for days that the snow was supposed to come through today, but I never actually believed it. In fact, I dreaded it. The above picture is of the SWBTS campus on the day after Fort Worth got a record-breaking 12+ inches of snow. [thanks to my roomie Jill for the pic.. borrowed it from her facebook :)] The snow was fun while it lasted, but I tired of it quickly.

I have been longing for Spring/Summer for the past week. I have thought about how much I enjoy the days that it's 60 degrees outside, and I can't wait until it warms up even more than that. But today, I have decided to be thankful for the snow. Not only was it beautiful as it fell from the sky, but it brought with it perspective.

So often I am looking forward to what is next. The next class, the next semester, the next year, the next job, etc. I tend to tell myself, "When I get finished with Seminary, I'll do this or that." What about while I'm in Seminary? It seems so simple. The bottom line is: constantly longing for tomorrow has the potential of causing us to miss out on what God has planned for us today. I have also recognized a tendency that I have to hold on to things in the past, whether good or bad. Living for things to be like they were yesterday or harboring bitterness for past hurts can also potentially cause us to miss out on what God has for us. Is it really worth it? I'll go ahead and answer that - No, it's not. I know what you are probably thinking... "Duh, Courtney." I thought I really had a grip on these things too. Until today.

As I sat in Old Testament II class today, I could not help but look out of the window (I know, I know... I probably should have been paying attention). I realized during that class is that I love the snow. God made the snow. He knew that this day would bring snow to Fort Worth. What a beautiful display of his sovereignty. I slowly walked through it on the way to class and loved it. I enjoyed the way it stuck to my coat and how it melted instantly when it touched the skin of my face. There's something rare and beautiful about the snow, and I almost missed out on the joy of it because of my attitude.

1 Thessalonians 5:16 says, "Rejoice always." It is not saying to rejoice only when the weather is right or when things are going our way. It does not say to rejoice when you know what tomorrow is going to bring. What it does say is that because we have a firm hope in Jesus Christ, in all circumstances, we are to rejoice!!

Ultimately, what really hit me today was that I cannot live for yesterday or for tomorrow. This is a truth that I have quite possibly heard a hundred times, but today it really came forward in a different way. God calls me to be faithful today. God governs all of the processes of nature. He continually reveals himself to us - even through nature. Praise Him! How much more then does he care for us?? God also has us where we are now for a purpose. He continually provides for us and speaks into our hearts. So we should have the same reaction. Praise Him! After all, it is He who purifies us - white as the snow.

emotion

Jesus showed emotion, but he did not conduct himself by it. When he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, when he met Mary and Martha after the death of Lazarus, when he overturned the tables in the temple - all are ways that we see the emotions of Jesus. However, there is a difference between feeling emotion and letting that emotion control you.

So when is emotion appropriate in our own lives? We certainly do not want to become devoid of
it or we would all be as robots. It is important to realize that we do not need to be at the other end of the spectrum either - allowing emotion to govern our lives and decisions. Is there a middle ground between too emotional and not emotional enough? How do you find it?

I find it hard to draw a line where it needs to be as far as this subject is concerned. As I was browsing on Twitter today, I came across someone named "redrev," and this is what he had to say (in 3 tweets) about the subject: "If guys need covenant eyes for sexual pornography where is for girls with emotional pornography things like twilight, sex and the city... [create] unrealistic emotional expectations on guys just like sexual pornography creates unrealistic physical expectations on women... Both are equally poisonous and are a distortion of the truth. One is culturally [acceptable] a deemed as "that's just how women are" sad."

I have to admit that he has a point there.
... just a little something to think about.

the best news ever

today is my birthday. i'm 24. it's been a good day, but i'd rather tell you about the message i received from my friends in Ecuador....

"Last week we took a team out to El Chaupi. MIRIAN AND BOANERGES WERE BAPTIZED ON SATURDAY!! AND one of their daughter, Marcela, is incredibly broken and interested in how to get close to God since she has now realized that there is nothing she can actually do to gain His favor. :) El Chaupi girls, the work that you did last summer is a direct correlation to Mirian and Boanerges wanting to get baptized. So many times they mentioned the things that you did last summer, or showed them or told them, and it just encouraged their hunger and thirst for God... The time you gave up to God last summer and served Him here is still echoing. It has made a bigger impact than I think any of us have realized."

it would not have been possible for me to receive better news on my birthday. i am simply overjoyed!

Praise God, and God alone, for what He is doing in the lives of this precious family and the people in El Chaupi, Ecuador! I know that I will see these sweet faces again one day in Heaven, and just the thought of that brings tears of joy to my eyes.

faces

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

- Matthew 18:1-4

I have been looking at pictures from Ecuador today. I found myself being moved to tears when I saw these kids and still recognized their faces. We invested so much of our time and our hearts with the kids that we met. I pray that I never forget about their eagerness to hear what we had to say. May that serve as an example of eagerness that we should have in listening to our Heavenly Father. I thank God for the opportunity to spend time with these precious children. I pray that the Gospel message that we took to them is embedded deep within their hearts and minds. I realize that I may never see them again on this Earth, but I pray wholeheartedly that I will one day see their sweet faces in Heaven. Lord, let them see you.

Pictured above: Polett

culture shock and more

I returned from Ecuador one week ago today. After spending a little over 6 weeks in a foreign country, using a foreign language, surrounded with brand new people, I have come back to the land of the familiar. The land where things move faster and people are out to fulfill their own agendas. In our debriefing, one of the missionaries told us that we would experience a little bit of culture shock upon reentering the country where we have spent a large majority of our lives. I expected this, but I didn't realize how it would affect me until I actually got here and experienced it.

A few days after returning, I walked through the Wal-Mart parking lot and said hello to a stranger who only stared blankly back at me. This was the first time that I realized how truly different the people are from the ones that I have spent my summer working with. Ecuador (and most other Latin American countries, I would assume) is the land of "buenos dias" (good morning), "buenas tardes" (good afternoon), and "buenas noches" (good night). It is considered rude not to speak when passing strangers on the street. I realize how simple this is, but it makes me wonder what kind of witness we are giving to people day-to-day. When someone says hello to us in a parking lot, do we automatically assume that they have other motives? Sure, they may not be a nice, genuine person... But do they not deserve courtesy? Do they not deserve to be treated as Christ loves them? I have news for you... He does. Is the way that we even simply greet people reflecting the message that Christ died for them?

Do we live our lives as if we have something life-changing and bigger than anything we could find on this Earth? Do we live with what Jesus did on the cross before our eyes and at the forefront of our minds? I have a feeling that if we did, we would be more sensitive to the emotional, physical, spiritual needs of the community around us and to the nations.

last day in el chaupi

Amid rainy weather, cold wind, and children hanging from all of our limbs at all times, I feel so privileged to have had the opportunity to live in El Chaupi for the past 4 weeks. Today is our last full day here in the village. It has been quite sad to say goodbyes to all of the people we have gotten to know here (especially the children), and the worst is yet to come tomorrow when we say goodbye to the family that we have lived with for the past month. The Lord is doing an amazing work in them, and it has been a true blessing to witness. I pray that the Lord will continue to work through their family and that they will reach out to their community to share the Good News that they have come to know. They have been an incredible encouragement to us and have truly been a family away from home. It is bittersweet to know that this time is coming to an end. It feels like we arrived just last week. We will leave here at 9am tomorrow with tears in our eyes and joy in our hearts for what the Lord has done here and for what we are leaving behind. As we prepare to leave, I am humbled by the fact that the Lord is all-powerful and does not need us to accomplish his tasks, but still he chooses to use us. That is still amazing to me and I pray that I will never lose sight of how huge that is. He created the world that we live in, the air that fills our lungs, and our very bodies. Yet, still he wants to use us to further his kingdom. He wants to know us personally. He loves us beyond any other of his creations.

The past two weeks have been filled with many ministry opportunities and a lot of fun. We spent our usual Tuesday/Thursday mornings at the large elementary school teaching English and Bible Studies. We never quite knew what we were getting ourselves into when we walked through those gates at 8:40 on those mornings, but we were usually put into a class as a substitute teacher. That was nice because it gave us free reign of what we taught them (more opportunities to do Bible stories YAY!) but it also came with its frustrations when all that the students wanted to do was "jugar futbol" (play soccer) or "sacar photos" (take pictures). All in all, it was a great experience and these children now have more of a knowledge of Jesus Christ - and that's all that matters. We also got a visit from Ruby and Fletcher who were on their way to do some research in another area! What a blessing it was to get hugs from them!

As I mentioned before, we are leaving El Chaupi at 9am tomorrow. We will head to Quito for a couple of "jungle preparation days" before we head to the Oriente. We are excited to be reunited with the rest of the team and to spend this last week together in ministry to a people group in another area of Ecuador! Please pray for our travel on Monday and on Friday, as these are the days we will be driving to and coming back from the Oriente and for the people that we will come in contact with while we are there.

Since I did not have a chance to send out an update last week, there are some things that you should know.. The first being that the rooster that we so affectionately called "Dodo" because of his constant state of confusion was killed and fed to us for supper two Sunday nights ago. I did not believe it at first either, but it is true. Our Ecuadorian parents killed him and didn't tell us what we had eaten until after supper. They did it so that we could actually sleep. I told you that they are great! Haha they do have another rooster - a small one who has found his voice in the past few days. But thank goodness he is sane and only crows at sunrise.

This past Saturday, we went horseback riding for a few hours despite the fact that we were unaware of Spanish commands for horses. My horse started off being a wonderful creature, but halfway through our ride decided to take of sprinting down the country roads that we were walking down. I was not expecting it, but pulled back on the reigns as I yelled "PARE" which means STOP in Spanish. The horse eventually listened and slowed down to its usual trot, only to do the same thing a few more times before our ride was over. Despite my crazy horse, the ride was beautiful and we saw parts of the Ecuadorian countryside that we would not have otherwise seen.

On the same day, just a few hours after our return from riding, Mirian came upstairs and extended an invitation to eat CUY with her and her family. Cuy is Spanish for guinea pig. She and her family had cooked the cuy, chicken, and potatoes for us so that we could have this experience before leaving Ecuador. Although we were eating a strange food, we had a lot of great laughs and conversations with our precious family. (In case you were wondering, cuy tastes a lot like chicken.)

I am going to miss this place tremendously and the people that we have met here. I will miss milking cows, crazy roosters who end up as dinner, children hanging on to us all of the time, watching pigs get slaughtered, and most of all, being able to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ with these amazing people. I pray that the Lord will continue a great work in their lives long after we are gone.

See you in a couple of weeks!

Pictured above: Marcela, Peluchin(the dog), Boanerges, Mirian, Noami, and Peluchina (the other dog).

another ecuador update

I just wanted to send a quick update and let you know how things are going here in Ecuador! Specific prayer requests are in bold...

The bible study with the family has continued to be a success. We are learning more and more each time we meet with them about their hunger to know more about the Word. It is exciting and encouraging to see them stand up in the face of the judgement they are receiving from their neighbors and friends. I praise the Lord for their strength and desire to know more! Please pray that this bible study will continue to be a source of growth for them and that they will take what they have learned and continue to apply it in their lives. Pray that they will read and study on their own (which I believe they are doing) and be bold in sharing their faith with others.

I have good news and bad news about the weather here. The good news is... Rainy season is over. The bad news... It is now winter. All that means is that rain will be more scarce, but it will be windier and colder on a daily basis. Please pray that the weather will not affect our attitudes towards ministering to those who are outside in the community. Pray that people will still be outside so that we will continue to build relationships with them as we walk around the area. Pray that hearts will be warmed with the Love of Christ despite the cold external temperatures.

Tomorrow we have a HUGE open door to travel into el campo (the country) with the town doctor to meet people as he gives children vaccinations. We will be taking a van in the morning into the areas that are more difficult to reach by walking in order to take the Good News to these people. This is something that the doctor only does once in a while, and so I praise God for the opportunity and the willingness of the doctor to allow us to tag along for this. Please pray that the people that we visit will be welcoming and receptive to the message that we are bringing. Pray that the Spirit will guide our actions and our words, so that we deliver nothing but a saving knowledge of Christ to these people.

Our dear sisters in Tabicundo (Katie, Brittany, and Joy) are experiencing many victories in their area. Please pray specifically for their bible studies and for their ministry to the family they live with and the people that they encounter everyday. These girls are such a source of encouragement for us here in El Chaupi, so please lift them up so that they too may be encouraged.

We milked cows last Monday. Yes, really. Cows. We were out on the playground with a group of children and began to talk to one of the mothers (who was actually one of the first people that we met here in El Chaupi... Her name is Rosio). Somehow, she got around to inviting us to help her with milking her cows. We jumped at the chance because really... how often do you get asked to milk cows? We walked to her house and had a chance to help her and her friend milk a few cows. Milking cows is more difficult than it looks. But it was fun :) The most encouraging part about our milking adventure was the conversation with the two women that occured while milking. We learned a lot about the culture and about what the local Catholic church is teaching. They admitted to not reading the Bible, and they told us a lot of why they worship the Virgin Mary. Rosio´s friend told us that she came to the bible study that the group who was here before us had and that she did not like some of the teachings - which were straight from the Bible. This seems to be the attitude in a large part of El Chaupi. They have invited us back to help milk cows whenever we like, so we will gladly milk a few cows in order to tell someone about Jesus Christ. :) Please pray that we will have more opportunities to share with them in the 2 weeks that we will remain in El Chaupi, and for Rosio and her friend´s heart to be opened to the true message of the gospel. Pray that the people of El Chaupi will realize that the Word of God is alive and active and TRUE.

We have been eating fried food (such as chicken, shrimp, or beef) and vinegar-soaked veggies for breakfast. Along with the normal breakfast foods such as fresh fruit, bread, and juice. It´s really weird and has been difficult to adjust to. Plastic bags have become our good friends at breakfast time. Other meals are fairly normal, although we do have the occasional weird dish like beets or mystery vegetables. We say the missionary´s prayer often - Lord, I´ll put it down if you keep it down. :) Yesterday was Barnabus Day - a day of encouragement from our friends in Quito and Tabicundo. Thankfully they sent us some goodies that make up for the strange Ecuadorian food that we have been eating. There has been very little sickness on our team... Praise the Lord! :)

As for Dodo the rooster... He´s gone. We ate him. Okay, not really. BUT I think that his cock-a-doodle-dooing affects us less than it did at the beginning of our time here. Either we are used to him or he has found his mind. Either way, that´s good news.

Thank you for all of the encouragement that you are sending through your messages, and I ask that you please continue to pray. The Lord is working in mighty ways here in Ecuador, and you are a big part of that through your prayers!